Wouldn’t it be funny if I started a blog to process the challenges of parenting ten year old twins and everything started going so well that I didn’t have anything to blog about anymore?
Well, that hasn’t happened. At least not yet. But it has been a good week. Not a perfect week, but a week where I have seen the kids and me respond in better, more successful ways to situations that might have lead to darkness and despair last year.
For example, last night, Alexander was upset because he forgot his unfinished homework at school. He was distraught and angry (both because he couldn’t watch TV, since he hadn’t finished his homework, and because he would have a consequence in school the next day) and stormed up to his room in tears. But after about 15 minutes, he calmed down and came outside with me to look for the cat and bounce on the trampoline. This quick rebound was such a big improvement from past situations!
Then later, when we realized we could print a reasonable facsimile of the missing worksheet from the internet, he sat down and re-did the entire assignment without complaint, even though it was late. And he did it on his own volition. Last year, I would have nagged him to do the work once we realized we could print the worksheet. I would have felt very uptight about him going to school with his homework unfinished. But last night I told him (and meant it) that it was his choice if he wanted to do it or not. I was actually a little worried that he would get so frustrated with starting over again (especially so close to bedtime) that things would deteriorate into anger and unpleasantness, and the assignment still wouldn’t be completed. I was wrong. He sat peacefully at the table, humming cheerfully to himself and focused on the task at hand until it was finished. Who was this boy?!
So, even though I wouldn’t exactly call this a “pleasant’ evening, I ended up feeling really good about it. For me, it felt good not to get rattled and react to any of the angry, negative behavior. AND it was wonderful to see Alexander being resilient and determined in the face of adversity.
In general, a reasonably decent, even-keeled, low-drama week. And the icing on the cake? I found out today that the 5th grade teachers have a policy of trying not to give homework on weekends. Hallelujah!